Relationships

My Advice for Single Mom’s on Vetting Potential Dates!

As a single mother, there are plenty of dating tips for how to get guys. But, now that you’re a parent, every decision you make has to be with your children in mind. You’re no longer looking for a boyfriend now; you’re looking for a future father! This is what it boils down to at the end of the day. Any guy that’s going to make it with you will need to meet your kids at some point, so they have to be father material.

The problem is there are a lot of weirdos out there, and it’s difficult for us to spot them! So we need to take the opportunity to vet potential dates and partners. I might sound like I’m being a little over the top, but when you think about it, you’re doing it for the kids. So, get a load of my tips to help you vet any guys who might have romantic potential in your life!

Facebook Stalk

The beauty of social media these days is that we can use it to find out things about people. It might sound intrusive, but trust me, ladies, it pays to be safe these days. There are plenty of weirdos and unsavoury guys out there. And as mom’s we need to protect not just ourselves, but our kids as well. So Facebook stalking might seem a tad unethical, but, in many ways it is a sensible thing to do.

Meet in a Public Place

Online dating has become hugely popular these days, and there’s a good bet you’ve dabbled in it. It’s entirely possible to meet Mr. Right from online dating. But you might have to go through a few Mr. Wrong’s first! Just make sure you’re always as careful as possible. You need to put your safety first at all times. So when you first meet someone for a date make sure you always meet in a public place. I can’t stress enough how important I think this is. Being in public will prevent anything untoward from happening, so you need to keep sensible and careful.

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Hire a Private Investigator!

Now, if you’ve been dating a guy for a little while, you might be thinking about introducing him to the kids. And this is where you need to be extra careful ladies. I would recommend you vet the guy a bit more thoroughly before allowing your children to bond with him. So, I’m going to suggest you hire a private investigator to find out information about the guy. Nothing that’s going to be intrusive or violating. But, just to make sure he has no skeletons in the closet that you might need to know about. I consider this to be due diligence, so you need to make sure you do this before things get too serious.

Take Things Slow

When you first start dating someone new, it can be magical. But I suggest you take things slow at the moment. You’ve got to think things through and put your kids first. If you get serious with a guy, he’ll be meeting the kids pretty soon, and they might bond with him. But if you got serious too quickly and things don’t work out it will be confusing and upsetting for the children. It’s better to take things slow and be certain that you’re absolutely sure before fully committing.

By making use of my advice, you can vet the guys you might start dating. It’s essential for the safety and emotional stability of you and your kids. By doing this, you’re being a good mother and making sure you look after your family. I hope you can use these tips to get the outcome you hope for.

 

How to Handle Relationships as a Single Parent

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Trying to date when you have children can be full of hurdles. Whether you’re their primary carer, or you only have your kids to stay now and then, they’re a big part of your life. Not everyone likes the idea of a partner that comes with a ready-made family. That’s understandable, but it doesn’t help single parents who are looking for love. You can have lots of worries, both about yourself and your children. The beginning of the relationship can be difficult to navigate. And it doesn’t always get easier. Here’s how to handle a relationship when you already have some very important people in your life.

Be Up Front

A lot of people worry about when to tell people they have kids. They may think that mentioning it too early could scare people off, but you can also leave it too late. You don’t want to get involved with someone and months down the line they still don’t know you’re a parent. Although you might think that saying you have children could ruin things, it might be an indication things weren’t meant to be anyway. You will often find that the subject comes up in early conversation quite naturally. Don’t go on and on about your kids, but slip them in casually when you’re talking about your life. Another thing to keep in mind is that a lot of online dating sites ask you to say if you have children on your profile.

Be Forgiving

Dating when you have kids is tough, but dating a parent is tough too. If you have children and your partner doesn’t, remember that you have different experiences. You shouldn’t let them get away with everything, but you should be open to discussing your differences. If they find some aspects of dating a parent daunting or difficult, you may have to allow them some leeway. However, if things go wrong, it’s not always the end of the world. For example, you can find help with ex-boyfriend recovery at ExBackExpertise.com. Sometimes a breakup gives you time to think about your behavior and whether you should have done things differently.

Be Cautious

You’re sure to hold your kids’ opinions of your new boyfriend or girlfriend in high esteem. However, there is no need for them to meet everyone you date. They don’t want or need a new parent every few months. You need to be cautious about introducing them to someone new. It’s better left until further down the line, when you’re confident your relationship will last. And when they do meet, you need navigate their relationship carefully. You aren’t giving them a new parent, or at least not yet, but you also need boundaries when it comes to behavior. How well they get on with each other could be vital to the future of your relationship.

Jumping back into dating when you have kids can be hard, but people do it all the time. If they manage to survive it and find happiness, then you can too.

How To Be A Better Parent Throughout Divorce

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Being the best parent possible is the biggest priority for most mothers. However, it feels even more important when you and their father are getting divorced.

Your news has blown their lives apart, so you must do everything possible to keep your children happy through this difficult time. Here are some invaluable tips to help them through the transitional period.

Don’t Be Too Harsh On Yourself

Your children are the most precious thing in your life, so it’s only natural to feel guilty about the decision to get a divorce. Try not to be.

Many couples stay together for the kids. While the intentions are great, it’s difficult to create a happy home life if the two parents don’t love each other. The signs will show, and sometimes the best option is to cut your losses.

Your children can still enjoy a happy life at both family homes. Moreover, they might gain step siblings further down the line. Ultimately, having love is more important than living in a two-parent home. As long as both parents love them, they’ll be just fine.

Make Divorce Easier

The best way to be a better parent throughout the divorce is to make the process less stressful on yourself.

It’s a huge shame that your relationship is coming to an end, but you can still part on amicable terms. If nothing else, it will benefit the children hugely. Some people like to avoid the courts, but divorce solicitors can make the process much easier. They can take care of your case while you concentrate on being the best parent possible.

Divorce is always emotionally difficult. Removing some of the hassles has to be worthwhile. Besides, taking the official channels will give you a solid conclusion with regards to child rights.

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Encourage A Good Relationship With Both Parents

Throughout the divorce process, it can be easy to try and score points against each other. Unintentionally, the kids can often be dragged into these battles. It isn’t fair on them, especially with everything else they are going through.

Both parents should come to an agreement that you will refrain from slagging each other off in front of the children. You can leave that for the courts or behind closed doors. Even if you hate each other, you both understand the importance that the kids enjoy healthy bonds with the other parent.

Your children need both parents now more than ever. Don’t let your personal emotions get in the way of it.

Become A Better Person

Being a parent defines you as a person. However, improving other aspects of your life can rub off on your parenthood duties too.

Learning to kick your worst habits will show the children that you are coping well. It also sets a great example. Meanwhile, taking your mind off things will prevent you from over thinking them. This should allow you to take better care of the children too.

Besides, you’ll be encouraging upgrades in your personal life. This will improve your confidence. At a time like this, staying positive is crucial.

How to Make the Divorce Process Easier

Going through a divorce is never easy, and it’s even harder when there are kids involved. There are a lot of emotions flying around from all parties, and it can be a lot to handle. You might be angry, upset and stressed, but you don’t want to make the process any harder than it needs to be. If you want your divorce to go smoothly, there are several things you can do to make that happen. You don’t have control over how your ex behaves. But you can make the right choices to display reasonable behavior yourself. Follow some of the tips below to avoid a messy and distressing divorce.

Avoid Court

Television and movie divorces often involve a lot of shouting, plus time in a courtroom. But the reality is that the majority of divorce cases are settled out of court. In fact, it’s estimated that up to 95% could be resolved outside of a courtroom. If you’re looking for out-of-court solutions, there are a few different options you can try. Using mediation will help you and your ex to work out the particulars with a third-party to help you decide. If you already agree on everything, you can also use a service to help you ensure all your paperwork is in order.

Don’t Badmouth the Other Parent

If you want to keep your kids’ happiness in mind, there’s one thing that’s important. No matter what you think of your ex, keep your opinions to yourself. They might be behaving in ways you find unacceptable, but they’re still your children’s other parent. Even if you’re justified in hating them, your kids could grow to resent you if they only hear negative things about their other parent. It can be tiring if you feel you always have to take the higher ground, but you can be safe in the knowledge that it’s better for everyone.

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Be Willing to Compromise

Going through a divorce is the perfect time to learn the art of compromising. If you never managed to get the hang of it during your marriage, now is the time to make an effort. However, remember there’s a difference between compromising and being a doormat. It’s important to know when to stand up for yourself, and when to learn to let go and meet in the middle. When you’re discussing custody, it’s also essential to keep the children in mind. That may seem obvious, but many people forget that it’s about what’s best for the kids, not the parents.

Take Care of Yourself

Divorce can be extremely upsetting and stressful. So it’s essential to look after yourself and be in touch with your emotions. Make sure you have a support network around you so that you have people to talk to. Learn how to examine your feelings too, thinking about why you feel different emotion. Consider whether they’re logical or fair to yourself and your family.

Getting divorced doesn’t have to mean screaming matches and completely broken relationships. You can remain on good terms with your ex, and help to make it easier for both of you and the children.

Rid Yourself Of Your Addictions And Be A Better Parent

We all have our weaknesses. Suffice to say we’ve all had our downfalls. An addiction is a weakness. It’s something that gets in the way of your priorities. If you’re a parent, your children should be your priority.

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Stripping yourself of your addictions is something every parent should consider at some point. You’ll not only feel better about yourself, but you’ll be setting a good example for your children.

Food addiction is one of the most understated addictions today. It isn’t understood or vilified in the same way other addictions are. Food addictions are not limited to just overeating. There is a whole range of complex eating disorders that many men and women will suffer from at some point in their lives.

It isn’t a one size fits all problem. If you have a problem, you should be able to identify it. There’s little denial with this one. If you’re having issues, you’ll know.

In any case, seeking help from a psychiatrist or dietician can be massively beneficial in kicking the habit.

Now, people are often demonized for drug addiction. We have been taught to see it as a filthy habit as a way to deter people from using drugs. That’s all well and good, but we’ve also been making monsters out of drug users too. Without understanding and compassion for their addiction, they are doomed to sink lower and lower into it.

Drug addictions can stem from many things. An emptiness in life, mental health problems, or childhood trauma. Luckily there is significant help out there for people, and specialist treatment centers for those with specific needs. For example, segregated women’s drug treatment centers are available. Many drug users may have issues stemming from the opposite sex that could cause relapses.

Alcohol addiction is a ruinous thing and affects thousands of parents and children across the globe. Regardless of if the alcohol is making you violent or not, it is not a state you want to be seen in by your children.

If you are still out drinking every Friday and Saturday like you were in your 20s, you may want to reevaluate yourself. If you find yourself taking a drink in the morning or can’t sleep without being drunk, it is very likely you have a serious addiction problem.

For nicotine addiction, it depends a lot on the way you ingest the nicotine. Smoking is a hazard for anybody but is particularly harmful to children. If you’re using nicotine replacements like gum or patches, you at least won’t be passing the danger to children.

That said, nicotine in itself is a harmful substance and can do things to your heart. Part of kicking the habit is to make yourself healthier so you can hopefully extend your lifespan for your kids.

Getting rid of your addictions isn’t just self-improvement. You’re setting an example for your children. They make pick up bad habits of their own, but they pick them up faster and in greater number if you impress on them that they’re okay.

Be smart, and do the right thing.

3 Reasons You Should Think Carefully About Divorce

 

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Although divorce rates are coming down, it’s a sad fact that many Americans will end their marriages at some time. Relationships break down to an irreparable point, and it is, quite often, the best thing for both parties that move ahead with their separate lives. However, you should not take the process lightly. It is expensive, difficult to get through and, although you will separate by law, it could affect you for the rest of your life. Here are four reasons why you should think about divorce in a careful and considered manner.

It’s Going To Cost You, Win Or Lose

Divorce can be expensive, even if you are parting on good terms – especially when children are involved. The law office of Michael A Cohen reveals that although child custody can be settled with a simple written agreement, it still requires court approval. And, as is the case for any legal proceeding, that’s going to be added expense. There are also psychological costs that you will need to contend with. Spending such a long time with someone can lead to problems coming out at a later stage, and maybe long after the event.

It Will Affect Your Kids

Although many divorcees make a success of co-parenting – and hats off to them – let’s not get too carried away. It is very tough, and could remain so until your kids are well into your twenties. Now, it could be argued that removing your children from a toxic atmosphere of arguments and fights can only be a good thing. But, they are too young to understand what is going on, and the effects on them can be long-lasting. Two parents have been their entire life up until now and losing one – no matter what circumstances it is under – will be a stressful and confusing time for them. Read our article for some beneficial ideas about how to help your kids get through your divorce.

Co-Parenting Is Tough On Everyone

It can be hard to get into your stride when you are sharing the care of your children, But co-parenting isn’t just hard on the divorcees. It’s harsh on their partners and other children, too. Let’s say you have a couple of children – he gets them every other weekend and the holidays. It might all be going swimmingly well until one of you meet a new partner. Perhaps you have another child. And then those holidays away that your older children take will leave your latest on their own. Things can get complicated very quickly – and it is something you need to think about long before the situation arises.

This isn’t an article to say that you shouldn’t get divorced. Separation of any kind will be a necessity if your lives become incompatible with each other. However, there is a lot of financial and emotional costs that many people don’t realize will arise. And if those factors can make you stop for one last time and consider the seriousness of the situation, then you will be in a better place to make your final decision.

 

Your Guide To Coping With A Family Break Up

When you are in love, life can feel so wonderful. The sky seems bluer, and the sun seems to shine brightly. Your friends comment on the permanent smile you have on your face, and you feel so happy. The relationship continues to blossom, and you eventually declare your lifelong love for each other at the altar. After a few more years, you could have a house and a couple of children, but the spark you felt in the beginning may have faded.

Many couples who have been married for several years question if they are in the right relationship. We live in an overpopulated world, so there is always going to be temptation. As we age, our tastes change as well. There are plenty of ways you can try to rekindle the love between you. You may also want to try marriage counselling to determine what in your lives is making your marriage unhappy. Of course, if one of you has strayed or chosen to move on, there may be nothing left to do but seek a legal separation.

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Divorce is unpleasant even when it is amicable. There is so much legal paperwork to get through, and dividing assets can always lead to arguments. The best way to approach divorce is for both of you to use divorce lawyers. This means you can step back and let them get on with the hassle of form filling and filing. Emotions run high when couples break up so having someone there to do the work for you alleviates your stress and upset.

When divorce breaks up a family, it can be very easy to start battling over the custody of the children. Most families agree to share custody equally, but it only takes one late drop-off, or an early pick up to start a fight. It is important that you all lay down the rules of the custody. Help your children feel secure with the situation you are now in, by taking time out to spend with them. Sometimes chatting about it is enough, but some children feel very emotional about a family split. They may need more assurance from both of you that this isn’t their fault.

Everybody says divorce is toughest on the kids, but it is really hard on the parents too. Divorce means you are losing your soul mate, your best friend, and the love of your life. It makes this loss real and final, and that can be emotionally devastating. Even if the spark in your marriage disappeared long ago, the signed papers might only be the start of your grieving process. Give yourself some time and space while you come to terms with what is happening.

Even when you are divorcing your husband to be with a new partner, the process of ending a marriage hurts. It takes time to adjust to your new life and to help your children feel secure in their new situation. While it may be unpleasant now, life does move on, and your whole family can be happy again.

Put the Spark Back Into Your Marriage

Marriage is a wonderful thing. But these days it seems to be difficult to preserve a marriage and make it last in the long run. There might be a number of factors relating to this. One argument is that people these days are too quick to give up on their marriage rather than working at it. Others argue that living is much more stressful these days than it used to be. Whatever the reasons we seem to be seeing an increase in the amount of divorces these days.

If you’ve been married a few years, you might find that the spark has gone from the marriage. And you might be worried that you could be heading down the path to a divorce. Well, don’t worry! It’s easy to panic and overreact, but it’s unnecessary. There are plenty of things you can do to put the spark back into your marriage. It just requires a bit of time and effort on the part of both of you and things could be as good as they’ve ever been.

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Cut Back on How Much You’re Doing 

First things first, you need to cut down on the amount you’re doing in daily life. People spend far too much time on work and chores and busy, hectic schedules. Life moves pretty fast these days, and if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you might miss it. You need to remove the stress from your lives because this isn’t a good ingredient for marital bliss. Make sure you at least try to cut down on the number of things you’re doing in daily life. And at least try to take a little time to relax and do nothing. You’ll be surprised at the good effect it’ll have on you and your partner.

 Buy Each Other Gifts

 Something that will really help inject the spark and romance back into your marriage is to buy each other gifts. It doesn’t have to be all the time, but you should do it. Of course, there are special gifts you’ll give such as a 5th wedding anniversary gift or a birthday gift. But you shouldn’t just limit it to these occasions. It’s important to be spontaneous. Surprise your partner now and then with a gift. It doesn’t even need to be a major thing; it could just be something little. It’s the thought that counts, and it shows you care. This kind of action can help to remind your partner how much you love them.

 Have Date Night

 It’s important to make sure the romance doesn’t die in your relationship. Try to arrange to have a date night now and then. Perhaps try to have it once a month. This is a time that you spend just the two of you away from everybody else. Perhaps you can go for dinner or take in a show. It’s important to make sure that the romance doesn’t die in your relationship. You’ve got to keep that spark and that connection there. You need to spend time together in a romantic way. This is one of the biggest reasons many marriages fail because the spark goes out of the marriage, and they can’t get it back.

 

5 Fantastic Dating Tips For Newly Single Moms

If you are a single mom, you may be starting to think about the future and wondering whether there could be a tall, mysterious stranger in it.

However, it is important to remember that dating with kids is different to dating in your teens and early twenties. That doesn’t mean you can’t date, it just means you should be prepared for dating to be a little different.

To help you get on the right track with dating as a sexy, single mommy, here are some useful tips:

  1. Increase your friendship group

It can be hard to find potential partners when you spend all your time with your and your ex-partner’s friends. Instead of relying on your friends to set up a date for you, get out there and meet new people.

The best way to meet new people is by joining a new club or by taking up a new activity or hobby. If there is something you have always wanted to try, like salsa dancing, for example, get out there and give it a go.

  1. Try online dating

The idea of online dating might make you cringe, but, believe it or not, many happy couples have met via online dating sites. So it is definitely worth giving it a go.

Ask friends who have met partners or gone on dates through dating sites, which the best sites to use are. Before choosing a dating site, think about what you want from a relationship. Do you want a casual hookup, a couple of dates or something more? Some dating sites are aimed more at finding relationships while others are aimed at more casual arrangements.

  1. Keep the kids out of it

Whether you are dating a randomer from a dating site or an old school friend you have known for years, keep your kids out of it until things get serious.

Family break ups can be hard for children to cope with, and introducing them to various new boyfriends is not a good idea. Wait until you are serious about someone before adding kids into the mix.

  1. Ask for set ups

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Many single moms are nervous about dating, so don’t just presume that your friends and work buddies would set you up on a date if they knew someone who was ideal.

Let your friends and co-workers know that you are single and ready to mingle and would love to be set up on a date. Just make sure that your get to know a little bit about your potential date before agreeing to meet with them.

  1. Always say yes

Make a rule that you will always say yes to dates – within reason, of course. Saying yes to dates can be hard at first, especially if you aren’t completely over your ex, but it is an important part of moving on.

Take advantage of every opportunity to get to know someone new. If someone asks you for drinks, say yes. If you are invited out for dinner, say yes. If someone has a spare ticket for a concert, say yes.

While dating can be a lot more complicated when kids are involved, as a single mom dating should be an important part of your life. You never know, with a bit of luck, you might just meet Mr. Right.

Relationship Advice For Women In The Military

If you’re one of the many women who work for the armed forces, you probably have a hard time keeping your personal relationships alive. That is because you spend so much time on duty that you aren’t around for a large portion of the year. Our advice today should help you to sort things out and live as much of a normal life as possible. It can get rather lonely when you are coming home to an empty house every time you get some leave. With that in mind, you should take some of the information in this post and put it to good use. Who knows? You might be married in a few years time if you follow the right ideas.

Use specialist dating websites

There is nothing wrong with finding love online these days. Indeed, a significant percentage of all modern relationships start that way. There are currently lots of specialist websites for people who work in your profession, and so you should create accounts as soon as possible. The people on those sites understand your commitments, and so they are the ones most likely to deal with the situation properly. In some instances, you will have to pay to use specialist services, but most of them are completely free for women.

Send letters to your partner while on tour

Fifty years ago, everyone sent love letters to their partners. That is something you can do today if you are in the military. No matter where you might be stationed in the world, there is always the opportunity to send letters home. Letting your loved one know you are thinking about them could help to ensure they do not look elsewhere. If you are away for more than six months at a time, it can be difficult for any partner to stay faithful. However, receiving mail from you every month could be enough to ensure they stay committed to the relationship.

Get engaged when you meet “the one”

Presuming you’re in a successful relationship, it’s a good idea to take it to the next level. There is no need to get married anytime soon, but getting engaged will let your partner know that you are in it for the long haul. Sometimes a commitment of that nature is required to set the record straight and let them know how much they mean to you.

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Purchase property in a military housing community

Ultris Madison and other military communities could help to guarantee your relationship continues well into the future. Buying a home in a place where there are lots of other military families will ensure your partner gets a lot of support when you are away on duty. Living with lots of other people in the same situation can help to ease the strain placed on any relationship. Best of all? Those places are quite cheap when it comes to purchasing property. That is because they have been specifically designed to house families of those working for the armed forces. You can also get grants and allowances from your employer to help cover the costs.

With that relationship advice under your belt, there is no reason you shouldn’t experience a healthy relationship while you are still in the military. We wish you the best of luck and can’t wait for our wedding invites!!!